Love and Grief - the lesson of the storm

"Love is a unifying virtue which takes upon itself the torments of its beloved Lord. It is a fire reaching through to the inmost soul. It transforms the lover into the one loved. More deeply, love intermingles with grief, and grief with love, and a certain blending of love and grief occurs. They become so united that we can no longer distinguish love from grief nor grief from love. Thus the loving heart rejoices in its sorrow and exults in its grieving love." (St. Paul of the Cross)

This was the Second Reading for the Office of Readings today on this Feast of St. Paul of the Cross. I thought it was a fitting introduction as I enter into the Consecration Novena. In fact, it was when this 'disease' of the heart, this wound of love, surfaced in my life that it ushered in these dark clouds that hovered over the horizon. I am uncertain as to precisely when or how these threatening clouds formed. All I knew was that I was facing a dilemma too big for me to comprehend, too overwhelming. Thus, it was on Oct 28, 2000 that I consecrated myself to Mary most Holy begging her that these clouds not mar the future that lies ahead, that the darkness it brings not overpower the light that has kindled in my heart since my earliest days.

Nine years have passed since that one October evening and the clouds are still pouring their rain although beyond shines the Eternal Sun. The sun's rays have penetrated the clouds but they are still hovering and now, I walk about looking at its aftermath.

A terrible storm has just passed
with several destructive waves
now it seems to have abated
but even now, I'm not sure if it is fully over
It may never be over,
perhaps more clouds are on the way

But now, enough rain has abated
and enough rays have shone through
to look about and see
see the aftermath of the frightening storm

Everywhere there are ruins
And it becomes too overwhelming in the face of it all
I can't fully make sense of it all
though a part of me can't help but confess

The clouds came under the rule of the Eternal Sun
They came with their evil terror
yet their waters became the cleansing flood of baptism
Where sin abounds, grace does all the more abide.

As I enter these holy days of the Novena
I look around,
I look and am struck with wonder
It is the dynamics of Redemption at play
before my very eyes...